In Thailand ladyboys are called kathoeys. Kathoey is a Thai word that has been translated into English so the spelling of the word differs, in this article I will spell the word katoey in the more common spellings you might see it written in the English language. Unlike in other countries where transsexuals are often looked upon as misfits in the community, kathoeys in Thailand are an every day part of life. I currently live in Thailand but was fascinated by these mysterious individuals from the very first time I came to Thailand on a holiday. Katoeys are an ingrained part of Thai culture and they reside in all areas of Thai society.

From the very first time I came to Thailand I was amazed at how many katoys there are in this country. If you were walking down a busy street in any part of Thailand, on the BTS Skytrain that runs through the middle of Bangkok or walking through any shopping complex you would see them either alone or in groups, everyday of the week just going about their business like everybody else. The Thai people in general are very accepting of them as almost all Thai people either have someone in their family who is kathoey or knows someone that does. This is a slightly strange phenomenon since Thai people frown upon homosexuality. However homosexuality in Thailand is much more common than in other parts of the world as Thai people both women and men are very effeminate. Thai women are about the most feminine women of all races of people I have ever seen. Unlike Western women who usually take pride in their appearance some of the time or on special occasions or for work, a Thai woman of any age always looks her best everywhere she goes. Where a Western woman might just duck out to the local shops to buy some milk and wouldn’t worry too much about her appearance, almost all Thai women make an effort to look their best every time they leave the house. When socializing or at work they always look impeccable. Thai men are quite effeminate in their physical appearance growing very little body hair and are very touchy, friendly with women and other men unlike the way Western men behave around other men. I’m not saying Thai men are all gay, they are not but the mannerisms of Thai men are of a more feminine nature than Western men. This is probably due to their culture and the fact Thai people are very close to eachother by nature. They have a much closer bond with their families in general and are an extremely friendly race of people. When you first experience Thai culture while being in the country it’s intriguing to see people so freely touch eachother and comfortably stand in the personal space of a stranger unlike the ways most Westerners like to give eachother some room to move. When you get used to it it’s ok because they are such beautiful, kindhearted people.

Many kathoeys I have spoken to and some of the ones I have gotten to know tell me that it was very hard on them telling their parents they were different but most have said their parents already knew they were not like other boys since when growing up as kids, boys usually are interested in doing different activities to girls. Interacting in Thai culture is all about showing respect and “saving face”. Saving face is when you stick to the guidelines of what’s considered “normal” behavior. Thai people never deliberately insult people or make others look bad. If you had a child who did something wrong and other people in the community knew about it, it would cause that family to “lose face”. In Western culture of course we like to keep our indiscretions to ourselves but it doesn’t seem to be as important as it is to Thai people. So when a family finds out their son is a katoy and wants to live and dress like a woman, many parents find this hard to accept and often this causes the young kathoy to leave home and in some cases where the parents, usually the father, cannot come to terms with his son being a transsexual, they may sadly never return home. This is devastating to the kathoey since all Thai people are incredibly close with their family.

Many Thai companies and businesses will accept a kathoey if she can do the job although some jobs might be difficult to land being a kathoey, especially in politics and some other prominent positions. One thing I must mention is many kathoeys take female hormones from a very young age and this can have the effect of making them grow quite a bit taller than the average Thai man or women. Also many kathoeys are extremely attractive as they have tall slender bodys, some have developed feminine features like hips and breasts and they tend to have a higher set cheekbone facial structure like men which is very common on the faces or international supermodels. I’ve met the 2004 Miss Ladyboy Thailand and I must say she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life. She is tall, has very feminine hips, big lips, breast implants, high cheekbones, no adams apple, no big feet or hands and sounds like a girl when she speaks. I met her while I was with a group of friends and we all agreed she was not only a knockout but you’d never know she was a katoy unless she told you. A common phrase I have heard around Thailand among expatriate residents in relation to kathoys is “if it’s too good to be true it’s got be a ladyboy”. Believe me if you are straight or gay it’s hard to take your eyes off some of the kathoeys you see in Thailand.

Thailand is quite a poor country so very few Thai people can earn a decent income. The cost of living is also very low so if you are a Thai person and can get some money together you can have a good life. Due to the fact it’s hard to get a good paying job in Thailand and it’s widely known that kathoeys are very sexual people, maybe due to the higher levels of testosterone in their bodies like a man, many of them turn to prostitution. I’ve read online and in some newspapers while I have been living in Thailand that kathoeys are some of the highest paid sex workers in the country. It doesn’t surprise me as I have traveled all over Thailand and seen some absolutely stunning kathoeys. Whenever I have visited areas where there are many katoy hookers, rarely do you ever see outwardly gay men with these girls. It seems to be that basically straight men are the ones who are attracted to them. This makes sense since if you are gay you are going to be attracted to a man that looks like a man and if you are straight you are attracted to a girl that looks like a girl. Yes it’s reasonable to assume many people are into all types of different fetishes but on observation of kathoeys working on the street, in ladyboy bars and in kathoy shows it seems to be mostly straight guys want katoeys for sex. I know numerous guys here in Thailand who have kathoey girlfriends who have only had a history of being with women and most of them say they went with a katoey for the first time because she was just so beautiful but yes they felt it was a gay thing to do but managed to get their head around the idea and are now comfortable with it. Some of the guys I know say the sex with a kathoey is amazing and in some way more intense than it is with a woman.

If you’ve never been to Thailand and have wondered about having sex with a transsexual before but are a straight guy and have a problem with the whole gay idea it’s a difficult concept to deal with. There is no definite answer to your problem other than visiting Thailand and having a chat with a few kathoeys, you’ll have no problem finding them. No matter what you decide to do or not do Kathoeys are in my opinion very interesting people and often have a great sense of humor as they can laugh along with the stresses of life as they have had to deal with so much inner torment and anguish during their lives. Meeting and getting to know a kathoey is a great experience in the same way it’s always fulfilling to meet new people from different cultures and to get a glimpse of a life that is so different to your own.